Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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