At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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