is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
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Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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