Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize