i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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