finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize