Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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