Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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