Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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