i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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