I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
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If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
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He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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