i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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