Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize