...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize