You're my little dorito
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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