i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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