so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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