yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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