he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize