I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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