Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
Why would I want a relationship when Iโm the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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