i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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