Midget sex pt 2 tonight
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
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