I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
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