i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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