it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
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just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
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I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
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