I think I died a long time ago.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize