I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
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