I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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