well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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