That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize