all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
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I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
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IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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