I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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