Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize