everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
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do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize