i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
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They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
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never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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