Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize