Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize