actually, I'm a sock model
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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