I looked at my own cervix.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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