He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
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All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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