My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize