i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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