But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
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As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
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I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize