So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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