I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
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Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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