my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
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I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
how drunk are you?
Several
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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