we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize