I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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