i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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