so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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