Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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