and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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