I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize